can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
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