today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
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The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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