You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
