im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
we made out on top of his cat.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you will always have a special place in my vag
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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