I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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