after a month anything with tits is on the radar
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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