At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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