can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize