You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
