Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
