I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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