...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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