we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Randomize
