There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
