somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
