4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
