Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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