just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We talked him into tasing himself.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
