Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
