just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
