so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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