Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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