my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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