I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
