im having a threesome with these popsicles
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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