I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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