just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
