C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
