My nipple is on Facebook.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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