i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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