I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
