At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
