i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
