Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
