Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
