I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
