God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
my liver is dry heaving
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
