i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
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we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
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I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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