I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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