he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize