I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
