Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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