btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
