I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
