Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
i believe in u and ur pee
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
