Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Im part way to drunk.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
