I could have mohawked her pubes.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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