New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
