He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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