no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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