I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
