Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
