I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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