Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
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