whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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