I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
