If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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